I’m a warrior not a worrier

After letting my anxiety get the better of me recently I’ve decided it’s time to take back control, stop being a worrier and become a warrior!

I’ve recently had to give up job to focus on my health, it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I’m still processing it all but I know it was the right thing for me. The hour-long commute was making me ill, I’d arrive at work exhausted before the day had even started. I wasn’t sleeping and the stress was building up until I almost snapped at a colleague. The team I work with are fantastic and my manager has always been so supportive of me and my needs, both professional and personal. I knew that if I continued to push myself to go to work I would make things worse and they could be on the receiving end of it. It wasn’t worth it for them or me so I made the tough decision to hand in my notice.

The whole situation was obviously very stressful and upsetting. It made my anxiety go into overdrive which in turn set off my IBS. I’ve only just recovered from a virus so my body is already very achy and fatigued and a 5 day flare-up was the last thing I needed. For the first time in almost 9 months I’ve had to use my walking stick for extra support when getting around. I always feel embarrassed when using it but I know that without it I would struggle (especially standing on a cramped rush hour train). Several trips to the toilet before even leaving the house and severe nausea have made the mornings sheer hell but I’ve fought through it.

After a visit to my counsellor and a full-body aromatherapy massage last night my body is finally starting to relax. The trips to the toilet have lessened and my anxiety seems to have eased slightly. I’m still not sleeping well but I’m hoping that will get better in time. During these last few weeks I’ve realised that throughout my whole IBS journey I have come really far. My partner is always saying how proud he is of me for coping with my condition and surviving each day. It wasn’t until I gave up my job and sat down to really think about what was the right thing for me right now that I realised…I am an IBS warrior!

Anyone with IBS will tell you how everyday can be a struggle. For those that are still learning to control their symptoms it’s a constant uphill battle. We shouldn’t be ashamed of asking for help or needing to take time to breathe because if we didn’t the hill would only get steeper and the battle would be harder. It may seem like there is no end to the fighting but know this… although you may not win every battle, you WILL win the war! People with IBS, or any chronic health condition, are strong and brave individuals. They are tirelessly working to better themselves and their health so that they can survive each day with a smile on their face. I for one think anyone living with a chronic health condition deserves a medal and a massive hug. Throughout my IBS journey I have met so many brave and strong people that are true inspirations to me. Our gut health community is so supportive and caring of each other that I feel overwhelmed with pride that our army of IBS warriors is ready to tackle anything that our bodies throw at us. It may sound cheesy but we really are stronger together! My hope is that one day we will conquer our IBS and finally be able to stop fighting. On that day we can all look back and see how far we have come, how brave we have been and how strong we are now.

In the meantime, we continue to solider on. I’m not saying it’ll be easy and I don’t know how long it will take but I feel that by sticking together and raising awareness of IBS we can win each fight. So from now on I won’t see myself as a worrier but as a warrior capable of doing anything if I put my mind to it! I’m going to take some time out to focus on me and what I need to be happy and healthy, then when I feel ready hopefully go back to work doing something that gives me that sense of worth. We all deserve to be happy and I for one won’t let my IBS get in the way of that.

SO until next time…stay happy, stay healthy and remember it’s NOT JUST IBS!

L x